Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wanker sparks health scare at Virgin Active

I saw this report in the Informante this morning! Unbelievable!
Written by By Elvis Mboya   
Wednesday, 28 January 2009

NUMEROUS clients at Windhoek's well-known health recreational centre, Virgin Active, were left dumbfounded last week after a middle-aged man was found masturbating and ejaculating in full view of the entrance to the male's sauna.

Several clients at Windhoek's Virgin Active gym are still trying to come to terms with the wayward elderly client, who was caught masturbating and  eventually ejaculating whilst allegedly appreciating men in vicinity.
Virgin Active's Duty Manager, Petrus Gurirab confirmed the incident but referred all enquiries to the gym's boss, Anuschka Davis.
"This is a weird issue and I cannot discuss it with you," said Gurirab.
The accused, Hendrik Kruger, when contacted for comment, said he offered no apologies to whoever was making complaints about him at the gym, and that he harboured no sexual intentions towards him whatsoever, as the complainant was not his type. "I had no intention to sleep with him. He is not even my type. He is not beautiful."
The man, who sports a pair of tattoos that sandwich his private parts, frequents the gym during morning and afternoon peak hours, often shocking clients by masturbating whilst looking at other men in the shower.
"The manager on duty (Gurirab) spoke seriously with him to desist from his fantasies because it not only inconveniences other gym users, but it is also unhealthy when he discharges semen on the floor," one irate client said.
"He just comes to stare at guys and start dreaming about them," said another irate client.
"He is fond of wanking while fantasising about the bodies of fellow naked men."
When confronted by the gym's cleaners as to why he had taken to ejaculating all over the floor, Kruger was reportedly unapologetic. "Can't you see what I am doing? I am coming," he told them.
Kruger claims his actions are the result of an illness.
Davis confirmed the irate clients' complaints and promised to look into the matter.
Kruger however, said he had already discussed the issue with the gym's management and as far as he was concerned, "everything has been resolved".
According to, Kruger's disorder falls under Psychological Paraphilia, better known as Voyeurism.
Voyeurism is a male disorder that involves seeking sexual pleasure by secretly observing another person. Other names for the behaviour include "peeping" or "peeping Tom". The activity brings on sexual excitement and may end in masturbation.
Voyeurism usually starts in adolescence and tends to persist into adulthood.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

'There's a tapeworm in my food!'

Saw this on news24, just disgusting!
Stellenbosch - A Somerset West policeman says he had eaten half a tapeworm in his pork dish when he saw the rest of it lying on his plate at a Gordon's Bay restaurant.

Inspector Hennie Smit ordered eisbein - a traditional pork dish - while dining with his wife at the Sunset Bay Spur in Gordon's Bay last Thursday. Halfway through the meal, he saw 7cm long segments of the tapeworm lying on his plate.

Smit told on Wednesday how a piece of the remaining tapeworm was still stuck to the meat.

"At first I thought it was a sinew but then I saw the flat segments and realised it was a tapeworm."

Without saying a word to his wife, he got up and rushed to the restaurant's toilets.

"I spat out the food I was still chewing into the toilet, and then went to reception to report it," said Smit.


The woman told him that it was apparently not the first time that something like this had happened.

The manager on duty that day apologised, and suggested he order something else.

"The man didn't even look shocked when I informed him about the worm. I then ordered a piece of steak and two double whiskeys to get rid of the feeling."

But he had to pay for the rest of the drinks and the food.

A manager at this Spur said on Wednesday that neither he nor the staff were aware of the incident. He didn't want to comment

"We were regulars at the Spur, but I will never go to a Spur again," said Smit.

- Die Burger